Forget Networking; become a Connector
We all know people like them, people who seem to know everyone. They're always able to help - or if they can't, they know someone who can. You meet them for the first time and in 15 minutes, you're talking with them like you're childhood friends. They're successful, smart and funny, with a likable touch of self-deprecation. And they're interested in everything.
Who are they? Connectors. Traits such as energy, insatiable curiosity and a willingness to take chances seem to be the common thread among connectors - as well as an insistence that connecting is not the same as networking.
"Networking I see as a means to an end," says Jill Leiderman, executive producer of the late-night show Jimmy Kimmel Live. Connecting, she explains, is about using a genuine love of meeting people and making friends to engage and assist one another.
Connectors show a willingness to venture outside their comfort zones. Being interested in lots of different things by definition allows you to be a connector." The willingness to reach out to someone you don't know is crucial to the art of connecting, and especially important in uncertain economic times. Those who are in mid-career and may have worked for one company for years should learn connecting skills before they need them.
For instance, most people's natural inclination is to seek out friends at meetings and mealtimes. Banikarim says not to do that. "It's easy to sit with someone you know," she says. "It's hard, but more interesting; to sit with someone you don't know. This is not like high school. It's not just the losers who don't have somewhere to sit."
It may seem as if connectors are born, not made, but that's not necessarily true. Joining clubs and organizations is a terrific way to find like-minded people, but only go when you have an interest.
Of course, when you're walking into that first meeting or class and facing a bunch of strangers, the instinct is to flee. That's all right. The point is not to ignore the fear, but acknowledge it -- and then work through it. "You breathe deep, and you have to remember that everyone is scared."
Perhaps one of the most important attributes of a connector is a willingness to help and to reach out even if there is no obvious or immediate payback. That means thinking long-term. "The biggest mistake people make is they think 'if I help this person, that will happen immediately.' We have to stop thinking in linear terms.
Summary of the article ‘Forget Networking, how to Be a Connector’, on www.secondact.com